Making Memories

Life doesn’t get any better than this. We just got two phone calls tonight – one was from our 13-year old grandson and the other was from our 21-month old grandson just learning to talk. His mother said he picked up his play phone and started calling our names in it, “PaPa” “Gamma”. It makes our hearts burst with love when our grandchildren miss us so much they want to talk to us (even the baby). My grandson said once he wanted to call us because he needed a Grandma fix. My grandmother was one of the most important people in my life growing up and I still carry warm memories of those days. I’ve written some posts about her – go to That Special Someone, Ghosts or Plain Talk. Now, I feel that I’m following in her footsteps with our grandchildren and making memories with them.

Our children live in rural Denver and we live in the mountains outside of Denver and the grandchildren come up and spend weekends with us on a regular basis. They have done this for most of their lives and we have built that bond. It’s so special to have that time with just them not to mention giving their parents a break. We play with them and catch up with what’s going on in their lives. There is a long hill down our backyard and when it snows they get out the sleds and slide down the hill a good part of the day. We go for walks and they sleep out on the deck in the summer in their tent looking at the stars. Yes, making memories.

What is it with raising children? That time of our life we’re building our families, a home and working. Between all the responsibilities, jobs, school, homework, errands, 15 years fly by and their almost grown. Then, you go through the milestones of puberty, driving, falling in love, broken hearts, graduation, college, marriage and……ahhh grandchildren. You wonder where the time went while you were trying to figure it all out. But, when the grandchildren come, it’s like you have a second chance at that children thing only in a different way. That’s when you can relax and truly love all the stages, the moods, the diaper changing – and I’m in heaven.

I realize some of you out there reading this just can’t relate. You’re not even in the children phase no less the grandchildren phase and may not even want to entertain it. That’s fine and I honor that. But let me indulge a little – humor me. It’s not just the children and grandchildren thing – it’s family. You’re making memories with a new generation that will stay with them forever. Go back in time, in your own life as a child, can’t you remember laughing and playing? What was your fondest memory as a child? Was it a puppy you had or being tucked into bed and read a story every night. Or maybe it was Christmas when you couldn’t go to sleep at night excited for Santa to come. We all have memories and there are those special people in our lives that create that world of imagination for us that we can recall at any time and with it come the feelings.

When your life seems to be spiraling out of control and you’re worrying about the bills, leaky roofs or losing a job, life comes around and knocks on your door and reminds you of the importance of appreciating what you have. What I was reminded of tonight was of the love of our grandchildren and how blessed I am. Family fills my heart with so much love and that’s what we’re living for – sharing that love with one another and passing on the torch. Take time today to hug the ones you love and tell them how glad you are that they’re in your life.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Thoughts Will Either Lift You Up Or….Do You In

What have your thoughts been about today? Do you even remember? Until recently, this has been something that has challenged me and, consequently, it was reflective in my life. You can read a related post I wrote, called Believe and Keep Faith. But, slowly, I feel I’ve made progress in this area. In fact, when I first wrote this earlier today I could really see where I had made some changes in my life in the area of my thoughts. Then, the end of the day came and I was put to the test on what I was going to do with my thoughts. It was as if the universe was saying,“Do you really believe this – well, let’s see.” I was called in at work and fired (I don’t like the word fired so let’s say - let go). I've never been let go before and for lacking in PC skills (didn't minimize a page fast enough) and needing too much mentoring time?? Those old victim feelings and thoughts surfaced and started to take over. You know the ones:

“The reason they gave was lame.”
“Poor Pat."
"You’re rejected again – never appreciated for what you do.”
“What did I do to deserve this?”

But, I caught myself and even though the emotions were running wild I thought instead,

“God loves me.”
“There is a lesson here and this time I will see what it is I need to do to heal so I never have to repeat it again.”
“I will send love and blessings to this company and to those who let me go.”
“These people are my brothers and sisters and they are here to teach me so I can finally learn.”
“I am thankful for the opportunity I had for work and for the position I had for a short time.”

"What", you say, "Are you crazy?" "How will thinking like this ever change people or what happened to you?" "They don’t even know what’s going on in your head." Yes, I could think that but it would be a false sense of pride only leading me back to old victimization thoughts and this is the lesson to be learned. I don’t think it’s totally released for what I have to learn but I have turned it around and with God’s help I can heal and send love and blessings. Marianne Williamson said in her book, The Age of Miracles, “And everything that ever happens will be used to show us how we’re doing so far.”

We don’t realize how much influence and power we have just through what we’re thinking. Thoughts solely belong to us and it’s the one thing that can’t be taken away. Because they’re heard only by us, we can choose to either listen, ignore or change the thought.

Our thoughts are silent to others on the outside but through our thoughts we have the invisible connection to the Divine – a hotline to the Creator - instead of being connected to our circumstance. If we allow our thoughts to be affected by the circumstances this is what we create. If we think only on what we intend to manifest and keep our connection open to the Divine we will be guided on what action to take.

It seems simple but I think the problem is that we haven’t really grasped the fact that we can actually use our thoughts as a tool as you would your hands or legs. If you go to pick something up and it’s not what you want, you change where you reach and choose another item. You can do that with your thoughts. If you have a thought that’s not consistent with your intention you can change it to the thought that fits. Because our thoughts are intangible and silent and appear to be on autopilot, we don’t take them seriously – but we need to. This is the engine that drives everything into our existence. We need to pay attention to them.

I am out of a job and not real clear why. But, I’m better at changing my thoughts about this and taking full responsibility for my part (see my previous post, Taking Responsibility). I am closer to healing for which I am thankful to my teachers. Because I am working on keeping my thoughts on love and blessing, I keep my hotline open to the Divine and believe I will be shown where I am to be and best served. God bless all of you who are experiencing some of these things. Believe me when you get a glimpse of the end of the tunnel you will be grateful for having gone through what you did in order to be better for it. This time my thoughts are lifting me up and through this situation - not doing me in!

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Taking Responsibility

Throughout our lives we go through stages. You can’t be expected to know anything about responsibility when you’re a toddler or young child. We have to learn what that means. Each little job, each small task helps us understand what responsibility is and the consequences. Your mother asks, “Will you pick up your toys?” They’re your toys – you’re beginning to be responsible for them so why wouldn’t you? And, then, you also experience the consequences when you don’t pick them up.

Slowly, we grow and as we encounter each task we learn more about responsibility, hopefully. This is in an ideal world.

Sometimes, we resist taking responsibility, even as a child, and this is where we begin spinning our wheels and going nowhere. We’re stuck. Marianne Williamson in her book, The Age of Miracles, says:

“A concept it has taken me years to embrace fully is that I am 100 percent responsible for my own life. 100 percent responsible doesn’t mean 34 percent responsible, and it doesn’t mean 96 percent responsible. Unless you’re willing to accept that you’re 100 percent responsible for your own experience, then you can’t call forth your best life.”

No matter what problem you are experiencing or what someone else has done to you. You need to take full responsibility for your part of it or it will keep repeating itself in some form over again until the lesson is learned. It’s time to stop blaming and judging and truly view the situation and release it through love and forgiveness. This doesn’t mean to become the victim and blame yourself. It means you need to find a way to change your thoughts and reactions and respond positively. I know some of the situations you’re facing out there are tough and no one said it was to be easy. But unless we really see how the situation is reflecting a part of us that needs healing and find a way to do that - through prayer or counselor – we’ll keep spinning our wheels. You have to find the way that fits best for you and a way that works so you know you have dealt with the problem and have been 100 percent responsible.

As Marianne Williamson goes on to say,

“You can live the rest of your life reacting to and replaying what went before, but that won’t serve you or deliver you to the shining place. And everyone you meet will subconsciously know how you’ve responded to your past. They will know whether you’re stuck there or better for having been there.”

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Dreams and Visions

Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote:

“What if you slept?
And what if,
In your sleep
You dreamed?
And what if,
In your dream,
You went to heaven
And there plucked
A strange and
Beautiful flower?
And what if,
When you awoke,
You had the flower
In your hand?”
Photo by Wazari at www.sxc.hu.home
What would you think if what you dreamed appeared in this realm as in Samuel Coleridge’s poem – a beautiful flower? Isn’t that what we do when we manifest? We put a picture out there of what it is we desire and hold it and over time we create it in our lives. Only in the dream state, there are no obstacles, no second guessing and what you dream appears instantly. What if we could bring more of that dimension into our everyday waking life instead of excusing it away as nonsense?

Have you ever had dreams or visions that appeared to be giving you a message or guidance? Back in 1977, I was awakened by a dream. It came out of nowhere. I was asleep and all of a sudden off in the distance I could see a black and white newspaper spinning and it kept spinning as it came closer and when it got close enough it stopped spinning to where I could read the bold black letters AIRPLANE CRASH - DENVER BRONCOS and I could see a photo off to the side of a crashed plane still smoking. It woke me up instantly and I sat straight up in bed and with my eyes wide open I could still see the newspaper headlines and the picture of the smoking airplane. My heart was racing and all I could think was, “What does this mean?” and “What am I supposed to do with this?” My husband helped me settle down so I could get back to sleep but the next morning I couldn’t shake it. I found out that the Broncos were due to fly to San Diego that weekend to play in a professional football game and somehow I wanted to warn them. Instead, I called my pastor at church and he put out a prayer request and then that’s what I did – pray. I prayed and prayed until it released and I felt peace again. I don’t know what that meant on this side of heaven and the Broncos didn’t crash but I know to this day I can still see a vivid picture of that spinning newspaper and smoking plane.

Dreams and visions can reveal another world, another dimension and be used to enhance our thoughts, desires. Imagine what we could learn. Is the life we’re living real or is it a dream? Some think it’s an elusion. You be the judge. It’s your dream.

"The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth
Across the doors where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep."
- RUMI -

From the kitchen table - Pat
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“Ghosts”

My timing is off. I probably should be writing this in October at Halloween time. But I wanted to share some personal stories from spending time at my grandmother’s. We just watched a movie tonight on the Hallmark channel called, “The Good Witch” starring Catherine Bell and it reminded me of the magic and mystery of things unseen. I believe there’s energy in everything and we’re connected to it. Sometimes, we can’t explain it in logical terms but it happens nonetheless. I grew up having a grandmother that had that mystery about her. She intuitively knew things other people didn’t pick up and it was no big deal to her. But my sister and I and 5 cousins grew familiar with the unusual happenings that would occur now and then as we all spent each summer with my grandmother and grandfather in a small town in Virginia. My mother, the eldest of my grandmother’s children, told us of spooky things that happened in that same house when she was a child. So, it’s no wonder the same things would continue for the next generation to take claim of and pass along. I don’t think the house was haunted. It was mostly its geographical setting enhanced by the fact that Grandma was psychic. Their backyard was connected to a funeral home and Grandpa’s tool shed and a small storage building belonging to the funeral home separated the yards. From our side, the small storage building was built with wood and had a window with drawn blinds. There was also some sort of door with an ivory door handle and a key hole. We always tried to peek inside to see if we could see anything. This was mostly where they stored the caskets but I think at one time it also was where they used to prepare the bodies. Given all that drama and children’s imaginations you can believe we scared ourselves to death. On top of that, Grandma had her stories about people she loved who had died and how comfortable she was in being in tune with them from the other side. There were times a noise or something would drop and Grandma would make her declaration, “There’s going to be a death in the family.” You never knew what would trigger it. To her it was second nature – peaceful and surreal – not creepy like it felt to us. It added more fuel to an already over-worked imagination. Sure enough, we would always get that phone call in the wee hours of the morning that a distant aunt or uncle had died. You can read another story I told about my grandmother in a previous post, That Special Someone.

I remember one night everyone was out in the living room watching TV and I went into the kitchen to get something from the refrigerator and I heard the back screen door slam. I called for Grandma,“because I wasn’t going out there alone”. She and I went out to the back door from a porch-type addition to the house with me stuck close by her side. She unlocked the heavy door and checked the screen door and it was hooked. Ugh – here it comes. She made her declaration and we got another phone call that night.

Because we couldn’t sleep at night, we would sit up on the floor under the front bedroom window where the street light was shining and play cards. After Grandma and Grandpa went to sleep we would sneak downstairs in the dark to the kitchen to get something to eat. My grandmother had a large oval picture with a gilded frame hanging on the wall in the living room as you came down the stairs. It was a picture of her 2-year old son, Billy Bob, who had died of pneumonia and the sepia picture was of him lying down as if he was asleep. Actually, in that picture he was dead but as a child he looked peaceful and sweet. You never noticed the picture at other times until you came down the stairs in the dark and then it seemed to illuminate. That was enough to move us swiftly right along to the kitchen. Night after night, throughout the whole summer you would find us sitting up whispering and playing cards until daybreak. One night, as usual, we were down in the kitchen. I guess we were talking a little loud telling each other spooky stories and giving gory descriptions of the food, as we ate it, when all of a sudden the lights went out and we took off running in all different directions. Then we heard Grandma, she had flipped the breaker switch and it worked. She got us all back upstairs and in bed.

I miss her dearly and feel her spirit with me every day. She talked of loved ones and spirits and it was a world that was not foreign to her. Because of her and these experiences it opened up the spiritual world to me early on and influenced a strong faith in a higher power that I carry with me today. Are there ghosts? I believe there are souls who for some reason at their death are unable to cross over and are caught between worlds. I also believe our loved ones and animals that have died come to visit. Some people are open to see them but most are not. We’re living in an age now where more of us are exploring this phenomenon. We’re no longer burning these gifted souls to the stake instead we’re intrigued and asking questions.

What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever had a strange experience you couldn’t explain? Given the saturation of the teachings of spirituality and energy it would be interesting to hear more discussion on this as people become freer to accept our connection to everything.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Daddy’s Little Girl and Butterfly Kisses

How many of you have heard the lyrics to Bob Carlisle’s song “Butterfly Kisses”? It warms the heart of every girl and woman to feel their Daddy’s love as expressed in this song. What child wouldn’t laugh with glee and excitement as their Dad takes their hand and says, “Let’s go play?” The image a Dad portrays of strength and tenderness is held close in a daughter’s soul throughout her whole life. It’s what begins at birth and grows as she grows.

What started me thinking about father and daughter relationships was something I read from Marianne Williamson’s new book, The Age of Miracles. She says:

“As long as we think our biological parents fundamentally sourced us, we’ll feel the need to distance ourselves from them because on some level, we know it’s not true. When we see that in fact they’re simply fellow souls who gave us a tremendous gift by bringing us into this world, then (hopefully) did their best to take care of us and raise us right, we realize the significance of the debt we owe them. Understanding that God is our true Father/Mother, and all humanity our brothers and sisters, counterintuitively delivers us to a more, not less, respectful attitude toward our biological family. Knowing more deeply who they are in our lives – and who they aren’t – frees us to love them more.”

The relationship we have with our Dads transfers to the kind of spiritual relationship we have with Father God. What if this human relationship fell short, would it reflect how we look to our Creator?

Several of us in the blogging community have been talking about stories and if the stories we tell are truly serving us or not. I talked about stories in a different perspective in my last post, “Plain Talk” but as I read this passage from Marianne Williamson I realized that, in part, this is a story I’ve been telling. The story of seeing God through the filters of who I saw in my father. My Dad would show his love at times but had his own human issues to process and work through while he was alive and I translated those issues into the way I viewed God. I realized that I really didn’t know God as a Father. As I reflected on this, I felt a shift and the old beliefs and false truths dropped away and I felt the beginning of a new spiritual relationship with a loving Father.

What kind of relationship do you have with your Dad? Were you Daddy’s little girl? If you were, you were blessed with a joy all children should know. I hope you will come to realize, as I have, what a blessing it is to have a human father to impart their love in the best way they know how and for being a part in bringing me into this world. Though I know my Dad loved me, I shouldn’t let it determine the kind of love our Heavenly Father can express. Realize the pure love God has to share with you that it is everywhere - all the time - and picture Him giving you butterfly kisses after your bedtime prayer.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Plain Talk

In my earliest childhood memories at my Grandmother’s I can remember family gatherings around the kitchen table and it wasn’t just to sit down for a good meal. We sat down for a glass of lemonade or a cup a coffee and visit to catch up with what everyone was doing. Sometimes, late at night when I was little, my cousins and I would have to go up to bed and the adults would remain sitting around the table, laughing and recalling events and telling stories. I wanted to be a part of it then and I do now. I carry the feel of that gathering with me throughout my entire life. It seems when people get together like that around something as simple as the kitchen table is when the barriers go down and something real emerges. It isn’t so much what is being said as it is the energy and the connection everyone has with one another. The conversation takes on a life of its own and you don’t know where it will end – it is like this invisible force takes all of you on an adventure.

To me this exemplifies my connecting roots; it’s when I feel most comfortable being alive. I think this is a place where, if we allow ourselves to participate, our authentic selves are truly revealed and accepted. It’s like Ram Dass explains in his book Still Here where he says,

“This is an opportunity for people to share their own wisdom and to contribute it to the collective group wisdom. Many people flower in the richness of this process, as the group becomes aware of how each person holds some part of the complex mosaic that is elder wisdom.”

Stories are told and the lives of generations of people are kept alive by the conversations at gatherings similar to sitting around the kitchen table. For the youth, as we listened to the adults, we learned about our ancestors, what they did and how they lived. As time went on, I had my own stories to tell and I passed them onto my own children. Before the printed word, stories were the only means of communication.

Christine OKelly in her recent posting in Self Made Chick, “How I Ditched My Job and Never Had to Come Crawling Back” asks, “What do you do today that is “second nature” that others would gladly pay to know?”, which is an interesting topic alone to ponder. I thought about that for myself and what I came up with is what Stephen Hopson is doing in his blog called “Adversity University” where he shares his personal stories. Immediately upon reading his story called, “How I Almost Let FEAR Stop Me From Accepting a $4000 Engagement” I was transported back to that kitchen table. It had the same feel of authenticity as I read his personal accounts of how he arrived at the decision to accept the engagement and what he felt and how he struggled. I didn’t feel like I was alone in questioning myself only to experience and share my own personal accounts of how God showed me the way. Here was someone with a different set of situations sharing their own story on how they followed Divine guidance - and I felt connected.

Stories are how we relate to one another. They’re different and somehow the same and even though the time and circumstances are poles apart we can come together as if we had the same experience. This is the energy, the life of the adventure you are taken on when you share around a kitchen table or put it out there in the internet world. We feel the connection to one another through stories.

Looking at it from a different perspective than what I was talking about, Andrea Hess recently had an interesting post on her Empowered Soul Blog entitled, “What’s Your Story?” She talks about the stories we tell about ourselves - are they are true or not and how you use your story to either continue your pain or use it as an excuse to not live your life fully. I can see how stories are used to further our cause particularly if we want to draw attention. And Slade in an older post, expands on Andrea’s thoughts on how we use our stories in his Shift Your Spirits Blog post on how to release “The Stories That No Longer Serve You.”

It’s all good. That’s what stories do. They give us different perspectives so we can participate and offer our piece. It's neither right nor wrong. It just is what it is. Let’s gather around the invisible kitchen table of the internet world and connect and allow ourselves to take the adventure of our lives.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Connection or Separation

Everywhere you look there’s the evidence of separation. It screams at us from the commercials on TV, grocery shopping, to deciding what you’re going to wear to work. It’s the have to’s and the voices clamoring for our attention. We’re so inundated with the demands of this world that we zone out and don’t hear it much anymore but it still continues. I noticed a long time ago when I decided to take the spiritual path that there appeared to be two worlds and those that were most enlightened learned best how to blend both. I was thinking about this today as I was driving home from work. I was noticing my feelings and how I felt different coming home than I did at work – I was putting on a different hat. Is that what it’s like when we separate and connect? You unplug from one aspect of your daily life and plug into the other when it’s the right time. Our lives are like pushing remote buttons – go here, do that – and it all gets so routine that we go through the motions mindlessly. If we’re conscious of who we are – a living, breathing expression of God - we can blend both worlds and not have to unplug from anything. We don’t have to act and think on autopilot or zone out and not be present. We can become conscious of our thoughts and actions and the different energies they carry and how they interrelate to others. Thich Nhat Hanh gives some insight from his book, Peace is Every Step and in his poem called “Walking Meditation”.

WALKING MEDITATION

Take my hand.
We will walk.
We will only walk.
We will enjoy our walk
without thinking of arriving anywhere.
Walk peacefully.
Walk happily.
Our walk is a peace walk.
Our walk is a happiness walk.

Then we learn
that there is no peace walk;
that peace is the walk;
that there is no happiness walk;
that happiness is the walk.
We walk for ourselves.
We walk for everyone
always hand in hand.

Walk and touch peace every moment.
Walk and touch happiness every moment.
Each step brings a fresh breeze.
Each step makes a flower bloom under our feet.
Kiss the Earth with your feet.
Print on Earth your love and happiness.

Earth will be safe
when we feel in us enough safety.

Thich Nhat Hanh, Call Me by My True Names: The Collected Poems of Thich Nhat Hanh,Parallax Press, Berkeley, California, 1999, p. 194

We can bring the real I Am into every situation, every conversation because whether it’s who you are seeing or talking to and whether you’re writing, or driving somewhere, all of what you’re doing is also connected to the I Am.

If we put our attention on separation, living a life to its fullest eludes us, missing all the joys. I believe our purpose is to remember who we are and that we are all one from the same Source. Connection and relationships have always been important parts of what I’m about and how I go about my life and it’s difficult for me to just unplug and plug back in. I am a work in progress when it comes to being mindful throughout my day but I’m better than I was yesterday. How is your awareness throughout the day? Are you living in the world of separation or can you blend both worlds and realize our oneness – our connection to each other?

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Animals – Our Companions, Our Friends

My husband and I have been married 41 years and from the time we were first married we always had pets – dogs, cats, fish, horses. To us, they’re one of the family. When they hurt, we hurt and vice versa, as they always seem to know when you need a lick or a paw on the leg. We know when we bring an animal into our home and become attached that in all likelihood we’ll outlive them but we don’t think about that. We enjoy watching them grow and the cute stages they go through just as we did when our children were young. To us, the time spent with them day-in and day-out is worth the trade for however long that is.

Who could not fall in love with a puppy – how they snuggle and the
smell of their puppy breath (it’s as good as the smell of a brand new car); or a kitten how they jump straight up in the air when they play or how they chase after a string. What a precious gift from God – a companion so noble, a creature so wise. They know more about us than we do and yet they don’t tell. They just stay by our side letting us learn. Animals don’t question or complain – only a little nudging if we’ve gone past their dinner time. They love you no matter what mood you’re in – whether you’re ugly or kind. They don’t judge telling you, “I wish you would stop playing your music too loud”, or “You really messed up this time” (except for in the Garfield cartoons).

All through the years, our companions and my husband and I grow old together and it comes time for them to pass on. One of our horses, Jet, whom we had for over 20 years died suddenly this past weekend. He was lying down at feed time, colic we thought. But, it turned out he rolled, not from a stomach ache, and twisted his intestines, which is deadly for a horse. The words I’m writing can’t begin to express the emotions we felt - so surreal. So much pain and yet so much love - rich and deep. It puts you in touch with a part of your being that you know has never been touched before. We had to let Jet go and it was hard to listen to our mare call out to him throughout the night listening for his call in return. Love is for real and the animals know. Before Jet, a few years had passed since I lost a pet but whenever I do it takes me deeper into the mysteries of this beautiful, most wondrous life and I’m thankful to have these guardians along the way for companionship.

If you’ve lost an animal companion, please take heart in reading this famous poem, “Rainbow Bridge.”

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Good bye for now, Jet. We love you!

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Taking Time for Myself

This has been an exciting week and also an exhausting one. I’m just going to have some time for me this weekend. It’s important when we’ve been busy to take time out to recharge. I have 2 books I need to finish reading: The Greatest Secret of All by Marc Allen and Going to Ground by Amy Blackmarr; and 2 more in line to read: Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson’s newest book, The Age of Miracles. The weather is planning to cooperate with cold temperatures and some snow. So, I’m going to snuggle inside, light the fireplace, stay warm and read. I haven’t done this for awhile and I’m looking forward to it.

We need to be inspired so we can continue our work and we can do that by spending time alone, reading or meditating. It recharges our energy and primes us to love and to serve. Getting back to our Source lights a fire in our hearts and all the challenges and problems don’t seem to matter so much.

These past 2 months I’ve faced some mighty challenges and if you allow it you can drown in the doom and gloom thoughts. At times, they seem to overwhelm you. The thoughts come flooding in the moment you change course in making any improvements in your health and well being. There were times as if I could literally feel my heart breaking. Just as Marc Allen talked about in his book, The Greatest Secret of All, he had to finally say out loud to his doubts and fears, “Why not look at it as an experiment? Why not go for my dreams, purely as an experiment?” He goes on to say, “My doubts and fears couldn’t argue with that, though they were certain my experiment was a ridiculous waste of time.” I know by affirming in my head and focusing on what I want begins to turn things around. If the thoughts are too overwhelming consider saying to yourself what I wrote a few sentences ago from Marc Allen and treat it as an experiment. Find what works best for you and the more you practice, the more your thoughts will subside.

For myself, I reflected on and used some techniques in Rules for Decision from A Course in Miracles (pg 625-628). It explains what we can do to manifest the kind of day we want. We just have to practice getting our minds aligned by processing these thoughts:

“Today, I will make no decisions by myself.”
“If I make no decisions by myself, this is the day that will be given me.”
“I have no question. I forgot what to decide.” (you’re a partner with God and not wanting to take over)
“At least I can decide I do not like what I feel now.” (if you’re bombarded with negative thoughts)
“And so I hope I have been wrong.”
“I want another way to look at this.”
“Perhaps there is another way to look at this. What can I lose by asking?”

Back to my books and my easy and slow weekend. I’ll be taking time for me and recharging for the week ahead. I hope you do too. Get that favorite book out and get cozy and settle in and enjoy. Maybe it’s just getting out in the fresh air and tossing the football around or going for a hike in nature. Whatever you do, decide now to recharge yourself and take time to do that.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

These days, it seems like I’m peddling backwards and instead of simplifying my life I find it more complicated. My intention at the beginning of this New Year was to unload a lot of baggage – not only emotional baggage I’ve carried around for years but a lot of clutter we have accumulated over the years. Make my life easier and simpler. But what “appears” (I add the quotes because what appears is not always so) to be happening is just the opposite. I’ve taken on a full-time temporary job and commuting almost 2-1/2 hours a day – seems more complicated, huh? But what I find actually happening is:

I’m enjoying myself.
Sure, I don’t have as much time as I did before but I feel productive and on purpose.
When you don’t have much time, you learn to make the best use of the time you have and get organized.
The newness of the job is good because it challenges me to get out of my comfort zone and stimulate creativity.
I’m meeting new people and surrounding myself with a fresh, new successful energy.
I know I’m where I am supposed to be at this given time for a reason.

In my past experience, I’ve always found that when I’m plopped into a new arena, new life experience, there’s a deeper, soon to be discovered, purpose and by working my way through it usually catapults me to the next level of spiritual growth. I must admit – I’m tired. It’s been 5-1/2 years since working in the corporate world and my body needs to acclimate. What is exciting to me is that I have short intervals throughout the day when I sense warmth and knowing that all is well and that means so much to me. I’m being alerted to keep my eyes and heart open and listen for the cues and the lessons.

I have been stuck spiritually. It seemed like no matter what – meditate, pray, read, and seek – I couldn’t hear. Somehow, this new temporary work is what I need to change things up and break me out of it. Now, I have an excitement like I remember in times past when I would get supernatural guidance, visions and dreams but, somehow, this time it will be different.

Have any of you been on a journey that you knew would blow your socks off but you didn’t know why you felt that way? It’s intuitive and it comes from within with much love, a gentle leading and trust. So, I’ll keep you posted on how this goes and if it looks like you need to simplify your life be on the lookout and be willing to take the path you’re given.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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New Beginnings

It feels somewhat unsettling to start something new and stumble through looking for a foothold. That’s how I felt today as I started my new temp job. I’m sure most of you have gone through it with new faces, new policies and trying to find where everything is. My head was spinning sometimes and I was overwhelmed but then as the day wound down I was able to find a couple of things I was able to do well which made me feel, “Maybe I can do this.” That’s probably why we resist change so much. We don’t like having no control. We’re out of our comfort zone. But, you know that’s when the greatest miracle happens.

Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book The Power of Intention quotes from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred…unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.” This is how I felt when this job came about. It doesn’t seem like that much of a miracle but it is something that occurred to help that would never otherwise have occurred. Especially, when last Friday they told me they had decided on someone else. Somewhere, I committed to being a part of the power of intention in bringing in money by the end of this month. It’s a beginning and each time I learn more of what I need to do to align myself to the source of everything.

Learn to get out of your comfort zone and trust.
Take action and do something. When the doors open – don’t analyze and second guess.
Be thankful for the stumbles and falls and know there’s a tender Force picking you up and showing you the way.
As you go along appreciate the journey and be kind to yourself.

What is your situation today? What are you not doing because it’s not comfortable? What are you avoiding or putting off? If it’s something that keeps reminding you to pay attention, it’s time to stop ignoring it and take action even if it’s a little step. Once you commit to taking action you will begin to see unforeseen incidents occur and doors will open for you too.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Home

I was thinking today, as I made my way up from the city to the mountains, of how much I love my home. I know home is different to everyone but to me when I break away from the traffic, city lights or sirens and begin to make that climb and see all around me the pine trees and hills, there’s no other feeling like it. We have lived in a small town about 45 minutes from outlying metropolitan Denver for 25 years. I remember when we first moved here from town, it took me 6 months to adjust to the quiet – no traffic noise or sirens. Now, as I sit here at my dining room table writing this post in the late afternoon and feel the warmth of the sun as it gets low in the sky, I hear the quiet. I know that sounds strange to be able to hear the quiet and stillness but you can and at first, before I adjusted, it seemed loud. I can hear the wind off in the distance blowing around as it moves and comes closer and passes through the trees so distinct and crisp.

The saying, “Home is where your heart is”, is so true. When I’m home, I’m content and my heart is warm. It’s hard to explain the feeling – you know it I’m sure when you think about your home. When you’ve lived in a place for awhile, your home has a history of all the times spent with the children when they were growing up, the grandchildren making memories and, now reminiscing, as my husband and I move closer to our golden years. In Colorado, it’s a place of seasons and the migration of wildlife. Just yesterday morning before dawn, we had a fox right outside of our bedroom window not 20 feet away. It was mesmerizing to watch his antics and hear his bark. We determined from his actions that he was probably a young male calling for his mate. Each day brings a new experience whether the snow is falling or, much like today, where the sun is shining with a cool breeze of winter. It takes your breath away.

Home is where…
I love and am loved
I cry and laugh
I grow and learn and discover myself
I’m comfortable
I work and play
I’m accepted
I’m safe and secure
I can unplug from the world
A place to make memories

God knew what He was doing when he created us with a meaning and love for home. I’m sure when it’s our time to leave this world and cross over and go back Home we’ll not feel like strangers but at peace drawn to that warmth, love and comfort of being back home.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Reminders

I’m writing tonight on a combination of things. As I was catching up on reading some posts and e-mails today, I was reminded again of how grateful I am, the guidance I’ve been receiving even though I haven’t always been aware of it and to let our brilliance shine.

REMINDER: How Grateful I Am
From Colloquium’s All Women Blogging Carnival, I read Patricia Singleton’s post of her trip to India and even though this is not in the same way I was reminded how grateful I am for my 88-year old mother-in-law who is due to fly back home to Toledo, Ohio Tuesday. She has been out in Denver visiting with us, her sons and their families, for the holidays. What courage and determination she has traveling alone with her walker and diminished hearing. It was the first Christmas after losing Dad in May and she didn’t want to be home. Although she was in Denver in September, this trip took its toll on her with the altitude and high blood pressure. She landed in the emergency room which resulted in an eventual stay overnight to get her health stabilized. After so many years of taking care of Dad, she had ignored her own health and now the warning signs were there and it was time to do something. After coming out of the hospital and settling in at her son’s for the remainder of her trip, all the family gathered to visit with her yesterday to give her a send off. As she sat at the dining room table, we all gathered around her in a circle and each of us went up to her and said what was on our hearts. We each told her how much we love her; we asked for peace and protection to surround her and follow her home; we told her how proud we are of her now that she was the matriarch of the family; how she was like a mother to the daughter-in-laws; how we honor, value and respect her; and the sons told her how they have loved having her as their mother. She cried and her heart was full as she watched and listened to the great-grandchildren as they came up one-by-one to kiss her and tell her they love her. We are so blessed to have her in our lives and, yes, precious Lord, how grateful I am to have experienced yesterday with family.

REMINDER: Trust My Guidance
When I read Andrea Hess’ post today, it made me think lately of how I’ve been asking for guidance and what I do with it after I’ve asked. I must admit I have fallen into the category she mentions of wanting guarantees instead of guidance and her post struck a chord in my heart. There I go again, asking for guidance but not truly trusting and it’s so slick how you can be out of alignment without even knowing it. It’s been like a see-saw, back and forth. Last week, I asked for guidance about work and bang I got a call for an interview. Well, I thought, “Wow, that worked.” The interview went well and I thought I had the job until Friday when I was called and they had decided to hire someone else. “Who’s playing with my brain here?” Today, after I read Andrea’s post I realized I wasn’t trusting completely. I wanted step-by-step answers and was not having faith. I was hanging onto my rope – from a previous post I wrote. It didn’t take much to catch my thoughts and get realigned and to my amazement I received another phone call today. The same place I interviewed with last week that turned me down has hired me and I start Wednesday. I am grateful and thankful for the answers and guidance.

REMINDER: Let Our Brilliance Shine
All around me I see people doing amazing things. I read the posts and see how people have listened to their hearts and not the so-called “experts”. They have begun their businesses, written their blogs, struck out on a new adventure with a desire and some common sense. Christine OKelly reminded me of this today in her post, “How I Stopped Listening to Experts and Started Making Money”. She reminded me of the importance to let your brilliance shine no matter what your passion. Take the chance and go for it and push through all the thoughts that you can’t do it or that you’re not good enough. I have when I started my blog last November. I didn’t know what a blog was no less create one. Little did I know that I would enjoy it as much as I do and feel so fulfilled to have this venue to express what’s on my heart. Amazing things happen. Just like in a previous post when I wrote about Paul Potts, a car phone manager in Bristol, England as he takes a chance to audition in March 2007 for a new talent show in England called Britain’s Got Talent because of his love for opera. Enjoy as you watch his brilliance shine as he pushes past the doubts and fears. It will give you chills to see the transformation of the judges and the audience. You may not realize it – but you’re doing it. Maybe, it’s in a way that’s not as noticeable as auditioning on stage but no less significant. Keep on doing it and your brilliance will shine, too, just as Paul Potts.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Friends

Photo from Microsoft Online clipart
The friendship relationship is so unique and precious. The friends we have come in all shapes and sizes and for all types of purposes. I have a friend to hike with and a friend that was a classmate in elementary school that I’ve known for years. There are friends that are casual acquaintances and others that will be there for you in the wee hours of the morning when you need a shoulder to cry on.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." – John Donne (1572-1631)

Some friends come into our lives for only short periods of time while others are there for a lifetime. They are the ones we exchange photos with from our weddings and births of our children. A valued friendship is one that is nurtured through all the ups and downs of life and they are the one you keep in touch with when you move to another state.

How do you develop friendships? Does the relationship just happen and evolve on its own? There is time and energy involved in developing a lasting friendship. It’s an equal exchange of mutual interests and spending time with each other. You could strike up a lasting friendship the moment you meet, personalities click and from that point on you’re inseparable. There is a special love between friends unlike the love in other relationships. I can talk to my friend and they seem to know what I’m saying without having to explain everything. Likewise, I can tell by their voice if there’s a problem. We just seem to know each other in that special way.

It’s nice to have a buddy to hang out with when you’re tinkering on cars, going hunting or catching a round of golf. They’re into the same things as you with your energies in sync. These friends are as close and as comfortable with you as a family member without having to impress. If months and years go by since I last spoke with my friend, we can pick up where we left off when we talk as if no time had passed at all.

“Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves,
the tide and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies
of love.
Then, for the second time in the history of the world, man
will have discovered fire."
--------------------- Pierre Teilhard De Chardin (1881-1955)

Lasting friendships – lasting love!

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Can’t Always Believe What You See

In my life, I’ve had numerous experiences where what I saw was not what was really going on. It’s confusing at first because we’re a human breed that tends to believe by sight. I have learned to follow my instincts even though I may be tempted to do otherwise. If I’m patient enough and do not instantly react, the real truth to the situation will usually reveal itself.

Some time ago, when our daughters were still at home, I took them and a friend shopping with me. I had to get something at one of the small outlets and was driving the van around the parking lot looking for a spot. I finally parked and we got out walking across the parking lot to the store and this woman came running up to us yelling her head off. She claimed that I hit her car and put a big hole in her hood; she had a compact car. She was mad and upset and very accusing. It took me and the kids by such a surprise that I was in a state of confusion, at first, until I settled her down to explain what she was talking about. “Well,” I thought, “the van is big and I don’t always feel or hear every bump or noise while I’m driving so it might be a possibility”. I asked her to follow me over to the van so I could get the insurance contact information, all the while still figuring out how I did this. She was still yelling and I was still asking. As we approached the van, I noticed our tire mounted on the back door of the van. I asked her, curiously and hypothetically, “How could I have put a hole in the hood of your car with the tire mounted on the back?” “Wouldn’t it have hit the tire first before doing any damage?” I was trying to figure this entire scenario out while still cooperating. All of sudden, she spun on her heels and took off muttering to herself leaving us in a stupor. The only answer I could come up with in this situation was: I didn’t know what her intentions were but by being willing to cooperate and be accountable for something I may have done, the angels took over and handled it.

We, humans, are good at disguising what our true feelings are and what is really going on with us. Well, a lot of times we don’t know what’s going on with us; we just know we’re hurt or we have a problem and we react the only way we know how. If we could just find a common ground to start where we feel safe then we would be in a place to listen and be heard. We all want to be valued and respected but because we feel attacked or used we lash out. Ram Dass in Still Here, said:

“…when there’s true surrender and service between people, the roles of helper and helped and the boundaries between those in power and those who are powerless begin to dissolve.”

It all brings us back to service and surrender and with God’s help we will be true.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Who Am I - Be True to Yourself

As I watch my 21-month old grandson, I see the purity of a child learning about his new world. He’s learning how to open doors, take things apart, and climb - to him it’s all a wonderment of discovery. It’s fun to watch the growth and the innocence. Somewhere along the way, though, we become conditioned as to what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Depending on how this is presented we may lose sight of who we are.

Then, we move along this path and participate in family activities and interact with others outside of family and adjust to the acceptable behavior and we begin to unlearn who we are. We think we can’t have both – expressing "who I am as God’s creation” and living in this world. We compromise to avoid judgment or rejection and we don’t want to disappoint anyone.

As we become teenagers we start to challenge the ideas and beliefs handed to us. It’s the little child in us remembering and we want to express that in a unique way. But so many distractions and more new discoveries become available that in order to explore them further we need to yield our challenge to some extent and comply. At this point we dive into our world and maneuver around enjoying all that life has to offer getting so caught up in the physical distractions that we don’t even take the time to think about Who I Am.

Photo by Altaf Hussein – at www.sxc.hu.home
From there, it seems that life takes over with the tasks and responsibilities and we get glimpses every once in a while of Who I Am but put that off until we have time. Through all the years of conditioning and the “have to’s” we have come so far we don’t know how to get back to the innocence and pure essence of who we were when we first came into this world. That’s not to take away from all of what we’ve learned but to combine it with your whole being.

Ah, but that’s the journey. I believe that’s why you and I come into this existence, “To discover who I am in a new dimension, a new world, and learn how to express it.” I knew it as a newborn but could not tell anyone and I then began the process of adapting to this world. The animals know too Who I Am but they are also committed to silence. Each of us has to relearn this ourselves and by going within we find the answer. In Patricia Singleton’s latest post With Love, Man Is God - Sathya Sai Baba she quotes:

page 24, "I soon learned that in response to his devotees' many questions, he (Sathya Sai Baba) directs us to look inside ourselves for answers. To the most pressing question, 'Who are you?' he answers, 'How can you know who I am when you don't even know who you are? When you know who you are, you will know everything.' When asked if he is God, he gives an extraordinary answer, 'Yes, and so are you; you are also divine! The difference is that I know it and you do not. Look inside and find your divine nature.' "

What Can I Do:

First, get comfortable with quiet and go within – pray, meditate.

Then, start observing how you interact and begin caring about what you think instead of what others think as Andrew discusses in his latest post, Caring What Everyone Thinks. Realize the gift that has been given to you and to me – we are creations in the image of God. I’ll begin with that as a visualization on this journey when I go within to discover Who I Am. It is not an act of selfishness but one of Godliness.

Inspire others to be true to themselves by listening to them with an open mind and heart without placing any demands on them to see it the way you see it.

Accept each others’ truth with the same openness that you desire. Instead of defending our positions, look for a common ground where we can both agree.

Consider this poem taken from Ray Hunt's site:

The Guy in the Glass - by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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Believe and Keep Faith

Have you ever been bombarded with these thoughts – “I need to make some money, now!”; “Bills are coming due”; “I’m too old”; “I’ve never done that before”; and on and on? It seems like your brain is on autopilot. The thoughts take over so much so that it feels like you have someone hitting you on the head. But have you ever noticed that the thoughts invading your peace have no substance or validity only prediction or speculation; or the thoughts are based on something for which you have no control? If I jump on the bandwagon and agree with them, then it produces FEAR – F-alse E-vidence A-ppearing R-eal. This is worry and it takes us from the present moment. Andrea Hess in her latest posting, “How to Eliminate Worry” gives some powerful advice on what we can do if we’re overwhelmed with fret and concern.

Just recently, I began to feel myself tempted to worry as I talked about in my last post, “My Time to Trust – Again!” It had been so long since I had received guidance or direction in my situation that I began to doubt and this opened the floodgates for the thoughts to pounce. I had been down that worry road so many times before and didn’t like the feeling. This time, I recognized it and didn’t even start down that road. Because I didn’t entertain the worry, it didn’t take long to receive some direction. I aligned myself to what I wanted and publicly stated my intentions in my post that I was choosing to trust no matter how it appeared. Guess what? I got a call today for a job interview. When I put my attention on what I wanted, that allowed for direction to come. It was there all the time. I was blocking it. I’d heard this teaching so many times in many variations you’d think I’d get it and this time I did.

In whatever situation you may be facing now, I’ll repeat what I said in my last post, “Don’t give up!” The first thing is to recognize when your mind is on autopilot and if your thoughts are of worry and fear then begin to take action in changing your thoughts. Be patient with yourself especially if you’ve allowed your mind to autopilot for awhile. It takes time to recognize what’s happening and to make the change. Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book, The Power of Intention, says, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Do whatever you need to do to get your thoughts off of worry, first, then take action. I have found that when I get my thoughts under control then I can picture what I’m believing and when I hold that picture in my thoughts and bring in the feelings I begin to feel peace. That’s when miracles happen!

“Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up." - author unknown

Believe and Keep Faith!

From the kitchen table - Pat

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My Time to Trust – Again!

Here it is barely one week into a new year and I’m needing a sign or clue from the universe as to what to do next. You’ve been there – haven’t you? I’ve done everything I know to do – apply online for jobs (back into the corporate world again? – ugh), write my posts, tweak my blog, write and rewrite my goals, write down and visualize my life in 5 years, meditate, affirm, pray, ask, seek, knock. Still nothing has been showing up – silence. Monthly bills rolling around and coming due again – does panic set in? I can’t go down that road even if all the bells and whistles are going off.

Too many times throughout my life have I been reminded that there’s an intelligence out there that knows who I am, where I’m at and what I need - more than I do. When I choose to put my attention on what good has happened in my life, what doors have been opened in the past, the opportunities that have come my way all at the perfect time, I begin to calm down and feel that peace again. It’s another reminder, another lesson to trust (see a previous post I’ve written Trust – Cutting the Rope and Taking the Leap).

One of those times I’m reminded of was back in 1985 when God answered in a tender and supernatural way. My mother had just died suddenly in her sleep and my father, naturally, was distraught and lost. It was late at night when I flew into Philadelphia from Denver and my sister picked me up to go right over to the house to help Dad. When we got there, every light in the house was on which was unusual for my parents - always keeping a low profile. I never saw my Dad in this condition. He was always so controlled with his emotions. He was worried and didn’t know what to do as Mom always handled the money – every penny. Now, the funeral home was needing a decision on how to prepare her remains and it came with a cost - $600. They had no funeral preparations, no will – hell, they never had a checking or savings account. They had lived in the Depression era and paid for everything by cash or money order. Dad couldn’t find her wallet for her identification and money. He looked everywhere in the house and came up empty and was drained not only from grief but worry of what to do. We calmed him down and my sister and I started looking. I found my mother’s wallet in the back bedroom at arm’s length between the mattresses. Next, as we looked further, we found three $100 bills in between the Sunday paper coupons on the bedroom dresser. All in all, we came up with the exact amount that was needed to put our mother to rest. It was an emotional time and a blessed time to witness first-hand the miracles that transpired those few days.

Reminders are all around us to not give up. As I wrote in an earlier post, Happy New Year!,I felt a definite shift when the clock stroked midnight and the old year diminished. When I’m tempted to look at what appears to not be happening, I’m encouraged to say like Patricia Singleton in her posting, This Is The Year That My Dreams Come True!, “It’s a reality I choose to create”. I know there’s an invisible, sweet and loving force that is ALL and knows ALL and I choose to turn my sites on that and trust. It’s there for you too; you just have to look for it. It has never left.

From the kitchen table - Pat
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That Special Someone

Who in your life was the most influential? Sometimes it’s a member of the family – sometimes it just a best friend. But, whoever it is, they have made the most impression in your life and even today you can think back on them and have warm feelings.

The one who was the most impressionable for me was my grandmother. She had a presence about her that was warm and welcoming. I can remember, when I was younger, teaching her how to add zip codes to an address or how to look up a number to dial on the telephone. Before, their phone did not have a rotary dial and you just picked it up and asked the operator to connect you to who you wanted to talk to. I know it sounds like I’m talking about the Dark Ages but this was only in the late 50’s early 60’s. It was a small town in Virginia and they were not privy to the latest technologies. Grandma only went through the 2nd grade but she could write cursive and add and read. Grandpop on the other hand couldn’t read or write – well, he was taught to write his name but that was all he could write. Whatever they lacked in an opportunity for an education they made up for in values, integrity, work ethic, love and compassion and passed it onto us.

What I loved most about my grandmother was how comfortable she was with herself and because of this you felt accepted and comfortable too. She allowed you to be yourself and she honored it. She didn’t try to change you. When we would talk, I would feel like we talked from soul to soul and genuinely connected. She was the type of person that because she loved you in such a pure way, you never wanted to disappoint her.

In addition to being religious, Grandma was psychic which made for some interesting events. One night after we went to bed my cousin in one of the connecting bedrooms said she heard a clock ticking. It sounded like it was in the wall just above her head. Grandma came in and listened and checked all around the room including under the bed. She went into her bedroom to look out to see if a car was parked with the engine running but no car and no clock. Then, she made one of her usual declarations, when things were just a little out of the ordinary, saying, “Someone is going to die.” Well, again, sure enough we got a phone call early in the morning that someone in the family had passed away. Grandma had a connection and an understanding of those loved ones on the other side. She was quite comfortable with it even though it freaked the rest of us out. Through all these times when things happened that we didn’t understand, she was patient and loving giving us a different view beyond the world of sight. She helped me to see a deeper side of my faith in God and spirituality that may have taken me a long time to accept and for that I am thankful.

Who is that special someone that most impressed you? How have they contributed to who you are today? Are they still alive and can you still get in touch with them and, if not, their memory will always keep their presence fresh by your side as if they never left.

I love you Grandma, wherever you are today! Thank you for influencing my life and being a big part of who I am today!

From the kitchen table - Pat~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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