content='index,follow' name='robots'/> Plain Talk and Ordinary Wisdom: Love – A Deeper Connection - Part 2 of 5

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Love – A Deeper Connection - Part 2 of 5

Since we’re talking about love this week, I wanted to touch on the subject from perhaps a different perspective. What does it feel like for you to be loved? You want to be valued and know that your love will hold up with the test of time. The love I’m talking about is more than just the physical attraction.

(Photo by Alexander Abolinsh at
It’s what you feel when the one you love whispers how much they love you or when they do something just for you to show their love. It’s the little things, the gestures that tell the tale and touches your heart. How do you know you’re in love? Is it what you have in common or the fun you have when you do things together? All of that plays an important role in being in a relationship but love carries it further because it requires a giving of you. When things get tough and it doesn’t feel good anymore you have to draw on something deeper. Let me share with you my story.

My then husband (to be) and I first met in June of 1966 in a small town in Virginia. It was going to be my last summer with my grandparents and then I was off to school in the fall. My husband (to be) was stationed there in the Air Force. In the ‘60’s, a fun evening was cruising around up and down the beachfront seeing who was out. This was how we met, a couple of girls in their girlfriend’s new convertible and a couple of military guys pretending to run out of gas. We soon realized that they weren’t running out of gas; they were just running low and wanted to meet us so we agreed to see them at a local diner. Soon after that, my husband (to be) and I started dating on a regular basis throughout the summer. Being a small town, there wasn’t much to do except for a local theatre to go to once in a while. So, we would go for walks or to the beach just to talk and over the days and months till the end of the summer we shared our hopes and dreams, our values and beliefs and got to know each other fairly well. We had built something deeper than just the physical attraction for one another.

I left in September to go back home in Pennsylvania to start X-ray school at the local hospital and we continued to keep in touch through phone calls but mostly letters. Things changed with school and my living arrangements and I found myself back in Virginia in November looking for work. We were married the end of December only having known each other for 6 months and now we’ve been married 41 years.

Even though we dated a short time before we married, there have been many times that I have drawn on that strong bond we built early on when I didn’t always feel like loving or didn’t feel loved. My husband is not only my life partner, a father, a lover but he is also my best friend and the combination of all of that make up the many facets of love to me.

Do people really know each other today when they begin to start talking about love? What does it take to show that love and how do you receive it? Alex Blackwell gives some One Dozen Out of the Box Valentine's Day Ideas on some of these things I’ve been talking about, giving you a dozen ways to show your love. It’s something that grows and changes over the years. It has to be nurtured and allowed the space to grow for you to be authentic and ugly, sometimes, so we can learn to be a better person for it.

Can you remember how you felt when you first fell in love with that special someone you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with this week? Not just the kiss or the caress but something deeper that you knew when you first looked into each other’s eyes. You would have someone to build a life together and a family with, someone to laugh and cry with, someone who saw you at your worst and still loved you, and finally someone to grow old together with and reminisce.

Falling in love only begins with that first spark, and the butterflies in your stomach, and grows through a lifetime when you’re at the other end looking back over your life and feeling the warmth in your heart for that special someone you call your Valentine.

From the kitchen table - Pat
Don't miss the 3rd in a series of posts on Love.
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